Dying.‏

Liebe Familie und Freunde,

....I feel like I have been staring at this blank screen for too long. I don't really know what to say. In fact, I feel a little like I am writing my own eulogy....well...here goes nothing...

So! Last week. I feel like last week someone was trying to sabotage my last week in the mission field. But at the same time, like so many little great things happened that it trumped it all. We lost a lot of time helping out with the move, and THEN one of the sisters in Pforzheim had some major dental problems so she ended up in the hospital in Stuttgart and Sister Bice got assigned to take care of her for a day. But! She is doing lots better now, which is good. :) Tja. Lots of madness. But also lots of miracles.

I said a lot of goodbyes last week. Felt kind of like somebody stabbing me in the heart over and over...annnnnd, just to make sure I REALLY got the point,...over. But! We also had some really great appointments. Which was lovely. Tuesday we had lunch with one of the schwestern in the ward and while we were giving the spiritual thought and talking about the I just got so excited I could harldy contain myself. Schw. Gierschka just laughed at me and said "I want you to be this excited about the gospel a year from now.." I will certainly try! I feel like my love and excitement for the work has grown in leaps and bounds these last transfers. This really is a great and marvelous work. Love it. So much. We also had our last distrikt meeting on Tuesday. Which was also a heart wrencher. We actually had to wrap up early and didn't get the full meeting in, but it was sooo just exactly what I needed. Totally inspired. And inspiring. In honor of me dying, we listened to the talk "Come what may, and love it." I would highly recommend reading it if you haven't, and reading it again if you have. Tja. For the closing song we were short on time and sang one verse of God be With You till We Meet Again...which was just as well because I wouldn't have made it through the whole song....
To wrap up Tuesday we had an appointment with Peter and Bettina and the Ludwigsburg Elders. It was..so beautiful. Peter asked us to sing "How great thou art" so we did. Singing through that song in that lesson was one of the most spiritual moments of my mission, because in the last 18 months, I have truly come to know how Great He is. A foundation that will serve me well for the rest of my life and into the eternities....

Hey! Cool story! Remember how about a month ago Elder Bodily and I were teaching a man in the park, and a guy came up, gave us his number, and made us promise to call him? Well! The elders have been meeting with him (gender default..they get to teach the men..) and! He now has a baptisimal date for next month! Neat huh?? I mean I may not have been able to teach him, but I was able to help find him. Small and simple means hmm? Sometimes I am real small and most time I am real simple but..in the Lord's wisdom, I AM a means...what a blessing.

Annnd yesterday, we had a "Special Stake Conference" here in Stuttgart. Do you know what that means? That means I was able to see members and investigators from Ulm, Göppingen, and Stuttgart. 3 of my 4 mission areas. It. Was....glorious. For lack of a better word. (Side story! So Sister Jencks and I were supposed to sing in the choir, but they had forgotten to tell us we were supposed to wear black. So sister Bice showed up colorful and red. I figured "oh well, it will be fine. They can just sing without us." Apparently not. The director came and said "We need you! Can't you find a black shirt??" So! Poor, poor sister Holman-the self same sister Holman that I had the insane exchange with-had the misfortune of choosing to wear a black shirt yesterday. Sister Bice:"Sister Holman, can I ask you a favor??....Can I have your shirt for the duration of this meeting?" Sister Holman: "Uh...what??" Sister Bice: "I promise this is the weirdest thing I will ever ask of you.." Sister Holman: "Yeah right..." Haha. So we swapped shirts. Sister Holman: "...Sister Bice, I am wearing red wiht purple for you. I never wear read with purple.." Naja. Hilarious.) ANYwho. Wow. I could hardly hold back tears as I got to see so many of the people I have come to love on my mission and have one last hug. I will love these people forever.

Anywho. Not that long emails haven't been a common theme the last 18 months but...I will try to wrap this one up. Appr. 72 emails later and now the last one. Mensch. I just want to thank you all for putting up with me these last 18 months. Thank you for your support, your love, and your payers. I wish I could find words to describe what this last year and a half has meant to m but I don't think I can. People always talk about missions and how they change you and...it's true. But it's interesting because every mission is so different. Every mission is unique. And my mission? Has been exactly what I have needed. In every way. And for that, I thank God every day....and will continue to thank Him for the rest of my life. The people I have met and the lessons I have learned have shaped and refined me. I still have a long ways to go, but my mission has put me on the right path. Above all I am grateful for the relationship that I have been able to build with my Savior. I know He lives. He died for us because of His love, and because He suffered for us, He loves us. Perfectly. For those of you who may be hesitant to follow His invitation, "Come, follow me.." I plead with you to do so. He knows the way, and He'll lead us by the hand.  I couldn't have done it without him. He has been with me every single solitary step of the way, and I feel like on my mission, I have finally begun to understand what that means. Of course He was always there before my mission as well, but my mission has taught me to turn to Him. To trust in Him. To let go of my fears and "walk by faith, not by sight.."
I can only hope that I have accomplished all the things the Lord had for me to do in my service here. I know I have not been perfect, but I have certainly tried to serve Him with all my heart, might, mind and strength. That my mission has been acceptable to Him is my prayer and to continue to serve Him to the end of my life is my plan. I love the gospel. I love my Savior. He lives. He loves me. Ephesians 5:8 "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light..." I feel like my mission has opened my eyes to the light. Has turned me into a child of light. I am a child of God. There are so many out there who don't know that. And that is why I have been here the last 18 months. That is why I am still here. And when I come home, I will do everything in my power to continue to walk as a child of light. To walk IN the light. And to pass the light along to those who may be lost. Luke 11:33 "No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light." May we always live in such a way, that all my come in contact with us "may see the light." That is my hope and my prayer for myself and for us all...

Alright. Time to sign off one last time. Again, I thank each and every one of you for your goodness and your love. I wish you a lovely week, and though this may not apply to all of you, I will see you soon:)

Love,
Sister Bice