Giving Our best!

Liebe Familie und Freunde, 
    Oh hey! It's little old me again! Sending out once again from little old Wels:)
    So! Scripture study this morning! (Hey! Don't roll your eyes! I AM a missionary you know..*wink*) Sooo the story of the conversion of King Lamoni"s father? So good. Alma 22:15. I read this verse and couldn't help but ask myself why my personal prayers aren't filled with these kinds of questions. "What shall I do that I may have this eternal life..?" "What shall I do that I may be born of God having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, that I may receive His spirit, that I may be filled with joy that I might not be cast off a the last day?"
...and then the beautiful submission of our own will to the will of the Lord..."Behold..I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my Kingdom, that I may have this great joy..(v. 18) and I will give away all my sins to know thee.." Wow. I read these verses and think of all the little silly things on a daily basis that I am "not willing" to give up to the Lord, when Lamoni's father was willing to give up EVERYTHING. What did he get that we sometimes fail to understand? What holds us back? What needs to change in our hearts that we too be willing to give up all that we possess and all of our sins to know our God?...Just something to think about. I am still working on my answers. Hah.
   Anywho..Wels! Weee had an interesting week here in Wels. We started out full speed with several appointments and whatnot and throughout the week...they all cancelled on us. Every single one of them. But we tried to use our time as effectively as possible and..naja. We sat down on Sunday night to tally our key indicators and asked ourselves where the week had gone and what we had actually accomplished. I feel like we ran and ran and ran and..had nothing to show for it. It was, for a few moments, a little discouraging and a little bit frustrating. Which clearly means I need to work on my faith, trust, and above all, patience. I always think of Preach my Gospel ch. 6 under patience. "Patience is the ability to withstand trials and temptations without becoming discouraged or frustrated.." That isn't what it says but that is how I remember it in my head. Obviously I am not there yet. It was just a weird week. But, in end effect, I am really grateful for it, because it really made me do some reflecting about why I am actually here. I mean I just love Wels. So much. And I would love to see some success even just for the members sake. But that isn't why I am here. I remembered a quote I have on my desk that I got from a good friend. "We can't get side tracked by results. Our job is effort." Every time I read that it rings true..I just sometimes forget to put it into practice. I mean I feel like there is certainly a difference between "trying our best", "giving our best", and "trying to give our best." but I believe that all 3 are acceptable to the Lord. It isn't about the results. It is about the effort we put in. That is our job. Effort! To a degree, success can be "measured" by effort. but effort isn't measured by success. Effort is between us and the Lord. We know if we are giving our best in life, or at least honestly trying to. And true success (or at least how I see it..) is learning to be content with the will of the Lord and to keep pushing forward with a smile on your face because you love Him, not because you're "successful". I once read a quote that said "Hoffnung is nicht die überzeugung dass etwas gut ausgeht, sondern die Gewissheit, dass etwas Sinn hat, egal wie es ausgeht"-Voclav Havel. Soo roughly translated.."Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, rather the assurity that something has meaning, regardless of how it turns out." I feel like that sums up missionary work pretty nicely. Last night while writing in my journal, I really thought about why I am here. I am not here on a mission because the Lord promised me that everyone I talked to would listen. I am here because I love the Lord and I love this restored gospel that has changed my life and made me who I am. I am here because I know it's true and I know it's true because God has revealed it's truthfulness to me and granted me a testimony through His spirit--a testimony that I can no sooner deny nor forget, as pretend that He doesn't expect me to share it with others. That's why I'm here. Because Jesus is the Christ, our Savior. The Healer of our Souls. He has healed my soul more times that I can count. That's why I came on a mission. That's why I've stayed. And that's what's going to keep me going till the very last moment...regardless of how "successful" I measure up in the eyes of men..
     Naja. Sorry for my little "ah-ha" moment. Mostly, I am really grateful to be here. I am learning lessons that that I don't think I could have learned any other way. I can't believe the time is going so fast and the end is growing ever closer. But! The end of this calling will only be the beginning of a new. I am determined to serve the Lord to the best of my ability and am grateful for His patience as I sometimes struggle along the way. :)
Alright I am out! Of time..and energy..and things to write. Hah. But! I hope you all have a lovely week! I know I will! We may have had no appointments last week, but we at least have some good ones set up for this week! Bring it on:)
Ich hab euch lieb!!
Love, Sister Bice